Shears and tears

Some days I wonder why I ever decided to do hair. Why did I enroll in cosmetology school? But then there are always those days that remind me. I love the art, creativity and therapy in doing hair and creating beauty.

Lately I have been feeling a little down and discouraged. I need inspiration. After all the hard work.... 1500 hours of hard work at Brown Aveda Institute and obtaining my cosmetology license( not to mention the 15+ grand of tuition and fees) and I'm still assisting.  I enrolled at Brown Aveda in 2009 because I wanted to be the best I could be. Go to the best hair school. Develop skills and create opportunities for myself that would surpass the typical half ass "beauty school" grads. Don't get me wrong.. some of the best hair stylists have went to the shittiest low budget schools...with no structure, no discipline and no advanced techniques or amazing perks like what i was fortunate enough to have. Because bottom line, it's all about talent, passion and drive. It doesn't matter where you go..In the end if you got it, you got it. 

However, paying the big bucks to go to the amazing school I went to. Can really pay off in the end too. The experience I gained and the knowledge I obtained during my 1500 hours there was priceless. I am so proud to be alumni from BAI. The browns are great people and they are business geniuses. 

Assisting? Is it worth it. Absolutely. But how long? Honestly..it can be a little soul crushing. If you aren't in a program that is constantly challenging you to learn more and do better..then what are you doing? Will you lose "it". Sure you can totally lose it. That is how I feel some days. If I didn't do hair at home, I would be doubting my talents 10x more than I already do. I am in a fantastic salon and I am so fortunate for that. 

I understand. 

• you have to pay your dues
• work your way up from the bottom
• learn from the best

 But at 10 months of assisting...10 months of wasting my talent..and possibly "losing it" in a program that is pretty much telling me.. "Hey you, girl that spent all the money on Brown Aveda Education and technique and worked so very hard to master...FORGET IT ALL. Start over!" 

It's driving me insane. Shears and Tears man, Shears and Tears. I balled my eyes out more than once while attending BAI because...shit it was hard for me.. but then i got through the initial training and rocked the hell out of it.. got through it and loved it...but I am having flash backs to my shears and tears days and I am NOT digging it. Shouldn't I be jumping in there and gaining experience everyday....building upon my knowledge..adding techniques.. 

I have learned so much at my job- the ins and outs of a salon. I've grown as a stylist but not "technically" speaking. Thank god for doing hair at home so I remember what it's like to do hair. I'm around it, and get opportunities. But until I am actually doing my own clients. I don't think I will be happy. Loving your workplace and most of your coworkers isn't the key to happiness. unfortunately. Loving your craft...doing what you have passion for.. that's the key to happiness.  

Assisting is great for new grads. It is almost essential. I don't regret doing it,especially at a salon that will allow me to make the big bucks..or better bucks one day but is it for everyone? No. Can I make it through it..after 10 months in? Yes. 

With sanity? I don't know.